I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
