Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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