Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
is wine microwaveable?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
