In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
