You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
