Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
