Define "chronic" masturbator.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
