I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
