Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
