I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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