got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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