I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Randomize
