the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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