Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
