im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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