Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
