Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
