I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Everyone says I win the strip club
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
