An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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