Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
So squirting runs in the family.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
