My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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