end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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