I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
