..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
