You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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