I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
