It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
