Even the bartender felt bad for me
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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