We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
