you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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