my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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