Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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