are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
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