i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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