Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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