I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
