Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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