Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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