Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Randomize
