Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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