white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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