its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I supernannyed him into submission
how drunk are you?
Several
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
