i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
