this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
