It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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