i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
