I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
