Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
