My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
