Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
