they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
